No news in good news...whatever!

How come every single job out there tells you to apply online, but I have never heard back from a company whose online application I've done?

I've been having good days and bad. Today is bad. I'm pretty low on the encouragement scale. I feel so hopeless that its hard to even concentrate in my prayers. I keep asking God why he is doing this to me, but at the same time I tell myself "its because YOU aren't doing enough" and then prayer just leaves me and I get depressed again. God is not an agree God, and I don't feel like I've let him down too much...yet. But still, I only blame myself when things go wrong, not God. I know that I need to pray harder when that happens, but something just disconnects and I don't know how to stop it.

The only thing I haven't done is get in my car and drive door to door asking for jobs. I haven't done this because I don't feel as if it matters first of all, whether I apply online or whether I hear it from a real person: a NO is a NO no matter where it comes from. A second reason I haven't done this is because I still don't feel fully recovered from that horrid period of my life called college. Its still a miracle in my mind that I got out alive. It was hard. I'm no stranger to hard work, I enjoy, I embrace it and look forward to it. College on the other hand, really bothered me. Its the only time in my life where I felt hopeless and now I feel like its rubbing off on my job search.

I'm still confident that something will come through eventually and I still feel good about my life and my education. I know that there is one thing that will save me in my job search: If I could just get some interviews! I just want to meet someone face to face and have the opportunity to sale myself and I know that no one will be able to tell me know that way. Maybe I need to rework my resume or something to show who I am...but how can I do that in brief words of work experience and education? I don't understand! If I were a manager, I'd forget resumes, and call back every semi-qualified applicant because sometimes the most experience doesn't always mean that is the person you need at the time. I hope that makes sense.

Well, that is just a bunch of rambling, but isn't that what a blog is for? Guess so! I'm lost, so any CONSTRUCTIVE AND ENCOURAGING words would be nice. If you feel the need to belittle me, you can do that too, cuz I'm pretty numb to that by now. Yeah!